Comfort in an Instant

It Makes me Think About the Beauty of Baghdad

I love summer, even in hot Phoenix.  Every morning, or as many as I can, I love to go swimming.  I am a Pisces so that accounts for some of it, but I just love the way the water feels in the morning, and how I feel as I glide through it.  

So  last Monday I was in the water when a woman and her two children came to swim.  Her children were 8-10, polite, and well behaved as they got into the pool. She was friendly and as I finished my laps, I sat down with her to talk.  I noticed her accent was unfamiliar to me. I asked where she was from, and she said Iraq.  As we talked and laughed and got to know each other, questions formed in my mind. She had been here 14 years, had a green card, worked, and her children were born in the United States. She had married a Jordan born man, but they were now divorced, and we talked about raising children on our own.  I asked her if she had been back to Iraq.

She sort of looked down, and I could see she was really affected by it. She told me she was from Baghdad and how beautiful it was when she was growing up.  She said she tried to go home in 2009 to see her family and let them meet the children. She could not go in to the country as it was not safe to take her kids, they were Americans and it could be dangerous.  So her family met her in Turkey to visit, which is a really sad state of affairs.

I am a proud American, and I am realizing how much of the world I do not know.  Later in the conversation, I asked about Sadam Hussein, to which much was attributed to as far as crimes against his people.  Sadam Hussein's execution pictures were posted on the internet, which I thought was so ghoulish.  She said by much of the country he was loved, he provided education and as long as you did not disagree politically he was a good leader.  She also said her country is now ruined, angry, bitter, and completely different than it was as a child. I guess I was shocked, that is the best way I can say it.  I was embarrassed. 

Now I know this woman may not know all the history of Sadam Hussein's treatment of his own citizens, but the difference before and after in her country was so striking that she called her land destroyed.  It stuck with me because clearly I saw why some of the world sees us as Imperialists who foist our beliefs on other cultures, there is so much that I don't know about the history of our interactions with Iraq that I will stop there until I know more. 

I have empathy with our leaders, and don't get me wrong, I love a good conspiracy theory, but how do you make such complicated decisions when there is so much gray area? We judge them, or I have judged them from the comfort of my desk chair.  I have so much more respect for them as I realize how complex the issues are.  I will support them more from now on.

I also want to be a better world citizen, I loved this woman, friendly, open, and gracious to one who asked too many questions.  I am also seeing how important it is to read, learn and participate where I can. I am so saddened by the fact the beauty of Baghdad is probably one I won't feel safe to experience.  Hopeful though if more of us speak on behalf of religious tolerance, and embrace the world as part of our family of choice, we can make a difference.

Finally I did express to her, I was sorry that happened to her from our country. We never did find the 'weapons of mass destruction', clearly in this case, we ended up being the weapon of mass destruction for Iraq. I know that in part is why Obama makes his decisions so carefully when it comes to foreign policy. Good for him, that is what a good leader does, and I am glad I finally understand that.

So for now this one woman who lives in the townhouse behind me, and shares our communal pool is my window into the middle east.  I hope I get to visit with her again, perhaps something lighter like how the kids are doing with their swimming lessons.  I am grateful that as I learn more, my eyes are being opened more and I appreciate the view, even if it is difficult at times. I pray it makes me a better world citizen.

The Time the Government Poisoned Booze!

      There were many things I was told that lead me to the philosophy I possess about the United States, most were good. Before I go on let me tell you, I love my country and believe in the core values of the nation.  I love being born at the time I was, and consider my nation a great nation.  That being said, I have also learned much about the things that have gone on throughout our history that embarrass me. One of them is the story about the government poisoning alcohol.

       The prohibition in the U. S. was a period from 1920-1933 where it was against the law to manufacture, store in barrels, and store in bottles, transport or sell liquor to the American people.  Legally the country was dry.  There was however a whole illegal industry that provided liquor, from bootlegging, to the speakeasy pubs.

       After WWI, the country spurred by a temperance movement and ratified the 19^th amendment.  The amendment banned the production and sale of booze. Again the ban was to law abiding citizens. To make sure this was enforced the Volstead Act was enacted. The Volstead Act had a provision that made it legal to poison liquor. The government believed this would deter people from drinking.  The act:

1. Prohibited drinking intoxicating beverages
2. Regulated the manufacturing, transporting and sale of liquor
3. Ensured a supply of alcohol and promoted its use in scientific research and in the development of fuel, dye and other lawful industries and practices, such as religious rituals. (1)

       They took regular, drinkable alcohol and added chemicals like quinine and methyl alcohol to make it industrial. It is a term called ‘denatured alcohol’. It was undrinkable at that point.  The government actually gave manufacturers tax breaks if they denatured their alcohol.

       On New Year’s Day in 1927 New York City hospitals filled with people that were dying from drinking the poisoned alcohol.  So the government poisoned the people, “to keep them safe from the abuses of alcohol”.  41 people died in NYC from the poisoned alcohol. In the 1920’s a total of 10,000-50,000 people died as a result of poisoned alcohol and the government’s policies.

The government made no attempt to pretend that increasing the denaturing formula wouldn’t lead to deaths.  Seymour M. Lowman, Assistant Secretary of the Treasury in charge of Prohibition, even told citizens that the fringes of society that drink were “dying off fast from poison ‘hooch'” and that if the result was a sober America, “a good job will have been done.” (2)

      The whole embarrassing episode reads like a conspiracy theory. The populace started to rebel against prohibition, and organized crime was the real winner of the day.  The 21^st amendment repealed prohibition in 1933 and the whole poisoned alcohol period was tucked away like an ugly piece of clothing.  Well that is until the internet and the "Freedom of Information Act".

1. Subtitle of the act,http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/Library/studies/wick/wick1.html National Commission on Law Observance and Enforcement Report on the Enforcement of the Prohibition Laws of the United States Dated January 7, 1931 National Prohibition.
2. Rothman, Lily, The History of Poisoned Alcohol Includes an Unlikely Culprit; The U.S. Government, Time Magazine, http://time.com/3665643/deadly-drinking/
3. Wedler, Carey, The Time the Government Purposely Poisoned Thousands of Americans, Antimedia, September 9, 2015, http://theantimedia.org/that-time-the-us-government-purposely-poisoned-thousands-of-americans/

The Texas Ranch Tale, and the Reality Star

Yesterday I discovered this show on the National Geographic channel, called "The Pioneers".  It was kind of fun to watch it as I lay down on the sofa for a nap.  It is a reality program that takes descendants of west bound pioneers in 19th century, and sends them on a 3 month trek that simulates their ancestors journey across America.  They are to live on the land  with limited supplies. So yes, it is yet another pseudo reality show.  The cast was recovering from a summer flood in South Dakota in the episode I saw.  While a couple of the wagon train members went to trade weapons for supplies, the survivalist Marshall and Paul were bonding.  Marshall revealed he had a secret from his past that he needed to get off his chest. He felt the time is right to tell the other members of his reality show.  

Marshall related  a story about a time in his youth when his motorcycle broke down, so he began to hitchhike.  He was picked up by a van and taken to a ranch. He said he was then forced to doing 'things' on this ranch. Standing at the podium in the newly erected church, in front of his fellow pioneers he related that not everyone who was taken to the ranch survived.  I started to feel befuddled.   His fellow pioneers listened and  frankly they looked as confused as I felt. I wasn't sure why he was apologizing for being kidnapped and providing forced labor against his will. It ended with a vague unexplained amends to unburden his soul. I wanted to know more, so I went to the internet.

It seems that near Mountain Home, Texas in the 1980's there was a ranch owned by a man named Walter Wesley Ellebracht Sr. He, his son Ellebracht Jr. and  ranch hand Carlton Caldwell would go out to interstate 10 and pick up drifters and hitchhikers. They then took them back to the ranch and forced them to do labor. They were confined at night by chaining them to a bunkhouse bed.  They were detained, beaten and tortured. The murderous trio taped the torture of a 28 year old drifter named Anthony Bates who eventually was murdered and burned on the ranch. 

Marshall was picked up when his motorcycle broke down and he tried to hitchhike out of his predicament. As some point he became one of the jailers, holding men against their will. The men were threatened with knives, guns and with cattle prods. The NY times said, " promises, then torture" (1).  Men died, at least one. Reality star Marshall talked as if it were more than one. When one escaped and called the police the ranch was raided.

The AP News listed as one of the men prosecuted in this case was one Marshall Van Scoyk (2).  " The younger Ellebracht chained three men together with a logging chain as the senior Ellebracht fired a rifle over their heads. "Junior gave me a handgun and made the men get in the back of the black pickup truck," Van Scoyk said. "Junior told me if those three guys run to stop 'em, shoot 'em," he said. Van Scoyk said the junior Ellebracht told the three men they were going to dig their own graves. The three men then were taken to another part of the ranch where they were forced to dig ditches. Van Scoyk said he was one of several men who held guns on the three. " (3)  So somewhere in his capture Marshall went from being a victim to a perpetrator. In the show he says when the police raided the ranch, he was rescued. Which is an interesting spin to the story.

Marshall Van Scoyk had been granted use immunity, which meant his testimony couldn't be used in his his personal trial. So here he is years later confessing his part in the crimes against these drifters. He was alive and well on the reality show, "The Pioneers" on the National Geographic channel.

Texas notorious for harsh sentencing went light light on the slave ranch crew. Ellebracht senior was sentenced to 7 years probation. Ellebracht jr. got 15 years in prison for the death of Anthony Bates, and the ranch hand Carlton Caldwell got 14 years for burning his body. (4)  Wonder where the other tortured members ended up?   

 

1. Applebome, Peter, A Texas Trial: A Tale of Torture and Torture,  http://www.nytimes.com/1986/06/01/us/a-texas-trial-tale-of-death-and-torture.html, June 1, 1986

 2. Allee, Sheila, Final Arguments Set in Organized Crime Trial,  http://www.apnewsarchive.com/1986/Final-Arguments-Set-In-Organized-Crime-Trial/id-6fb3ee183bdce25586635b8105bc61c3, July 14, 1986

3. Allee, Sheila, Prosecutor Apologizes for Playing Torture Tapes,  http://www.apnewsarchive.com/1986/Prosecutor-Apologizes-for-Playing-Torture-Tapes/id-929973ba5ab148519a43aba048c4bf77, July 14,  1986

4. 3 Sentenced for the 'Slave' Ranch Torture, Killing, The Pittsburg Press, July 19, 1986

 

I am angered about the Russian infiltration of the Ukraine.  Crimea now belongs to Russia.  Our talks will not work with Putin. He is a conqueror, and will say one thing while, continuing on with his agenda.  This began as the Ukrainian ruler wanted to align with Russia, while the people wanted to align with the EU.

I have read recently that some Republicans respect Putin.  I can understand,  because he is a strong leader. The US suffers from poor leadership that seems to be at war with her own people. Respect is not the same thing as support, so when reading this do not mistake the two.  

In 1994 we entered into an agreement with Ukraine to have them dismantle their nuclear arsenal. At the time they had the 3rd largest in the world.   It looked like this:

 Ukraine demanded from Russia, the USA, France and the United Kingdom a written statement that these powers undertook to extend the security guarantees to Ukraine. Instead security assurances to Ukraine (Ukraine published the documents as guarantees given to Ukraine),  given on 5 December 1994 at a formal ceremony in Budapest (known as the (Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurancess), may be summarized as follows: Russia, the UK and the USA undertake to respect Ukraine's borders in accordance with the principles of the 1975 CSCE Final Act, to abstain from the use or threat of force against Ukraine, to support Ukraine where an attempt is made to place pressure on it by economic coercion, and to bring any incident of aggression by a nuclear power before the United Nations Security Council. (1)

So today Crimea is absorbed into the Russian Empire again, and the Ukraine may soon suffer the same fate. Where are we?  We are having talks with Russia after denouncing the act. If I were a strong leader with an agenda (like Putin), not only would I not fear retribution, I would continue while talking. I might give reasons that placate the world, such as the people wanted it, or I could not leave the country in this state. However,  I would continue on, I would not stop.

The losers in this situation? The Ukrainian people, who is looking after them. The world promised them protection from this very thing, and yet here we are. A weaked US with ineffective foreign policy who in effect does little. As a person who has loved the country I grew up in, I am embarrassed and saddened. We have always tried to help those in need, even if was ill advised. We stood for choice and democracy. The last 30 years I am not sure what our stance is. 

Rhetoric by a well educated country, that suggests Putin is acting in 19th or 20th century ways around this is not facing reality. Conquerors conquer. It is what they do, and though many of this think we have evolved, clearly the world and its billions of people don't necessarily see it the same way.  

 

1. Paul, T.V. Power vs Prudence: Why Nations Forgo Nuclear Weapons,  McGill-Queens University Press, 2000

 

I am angered about the Russian infiltration of the Ukraine.  Crimea now belongs to Russia.  Our talks will not work with Putin. He is a conqueror, and will say one thing while, continuing on with his agenda.  This began as the Ukrainian ruler wanted to align with Russia, while the people wanted to align with the EU.

I have read recently that some Republicans respect Putin.  I can understand,  because he is a strong leader. The US suffers from poor leadership that seems to be at war with her own people. Respect is not the same thing as support, so when reading this do not mistake the two.  

In 1994 we entered into an agreement with Ukraine to have them dismantle their nuclear arsenal. At the time they had the 3rd largest in the world.   It looked like this:

 Ukraine demanded from Russia, the USA, France and the United Kingdom a written statement that these powers undertook to extend the security guarantees to Ukraine. Instead security assurances to Ukraine (Ukraine published the documents as guarantees given to Ukraine),  given on 5 December 1994 at a formal ceremony in Budapest (known as the (Budapest Memorandum on Security Assurancess), may be summarized as follows: Russia, the UK and the USA undertake to respect Ukraine's borders in accordance with the principles of the 1975 CSCE Final Act, to abstain from the use or threat of force against Ukraine, to support Ukraine where an attempt is made to place pressure on it by economic coercion, and to bring any incident of aggression by a nuclear power before the United Nations Security Council. (1)

So today Crimea is absorbed into the Russian Empire again, and the Ukraine may soon suffer the same fate. Where are we?  We are having talks with Russia after denouncing the act. If I were a strong leader with an agenda (like Putin), not only would I not fear retribution, I would continue while talking. I might give reasons that placate the world, such as the people wanted it, or I could not leave the country in this state. However,  I would continue on, I would not stop.

The losers in this situation? The Ukrainian people, who is looking after them. The world promised them protection from this very thing, and yet here we are. A weaked US with ineffective foreign policy who in effect does little. As a person who has loved the country I grew up in, I am embarrassed and saddened. We have always tried to help those in need, even if was ill advised. We stood for choice and democracy. Now I am not sure what our stance is. 

Rhetoric by a well educated country, that suggests Putin is acting in 19th or 20th century ways around this is not facing reality. Conquerors conquer. It is what they do, and though many of this think we have evolved, clearly the world and its billions of people don't necessarily see it the same way.  

 

1. Paul, T.V. Power vs Prudence: Why Nations Forgo Nuclear Weapons,  McGill-Queens University Press, 2000

 

The Beauty of Baghdad!! A Featured Story from last Summer

I love summer, even in hot Phoenix.  Every morning, or as many as I can, I love to go swimming.  I am a Pisces so that accounts for some of it, but I just love the way the water feels in the morning, and how I feel as I glide through it.  

So  last Monday I was in the water when a woman and her two children came to swim.  Her children were 8-10, polite, and well behaved as they got into the pool. She was friendly and as I finished my laps, I sat down with her to talk.  I noticed her accent was unfamiliar to me. I asked where she was from, and she said Iraq.  As we talked and laughed and got to know each other, questions formed in my mind. She had been here 14 years, had a green card, worked, and her children were born in the United States. She had married a Jordan born man, but they were now divorced, and we talked about raising children on our own.  I asked her if she had been back to Iraq.

 

She sort of looked down, and I could see she was really affected by my question. She told me she was from Baghdad and how beautiful it was when she was growing up.  She said she tried to go home in 2009 to see her family and let them meet the children. She could not go in to the country as it was not safe to take her kids, they were Americans and it could be dangerous.  So her family met her in Turkey to visit, which is a really sad state of affairs.

I am a proud American, and I am realizing how much of the world I do not know.  Later in the conversation, I asked about Sadam Hussein, who was accused of horrible crimes against his own people.  Sadam Hussein's execution pictures were posted on the internet, which I thought was so ghoulish at the time.  She told me he was beloved by most of the country. He provided education and as long as you did not disagree politically he was a good leader.  She also said her country is now ruined. and the people are angry, and bitter. Iraq is completely different than it was when she was a child. I guess I was shocked, that is the best way I can say it.  Then I was embarrassed. 

 

Now I know this woman may not know all the history of Sadam Hussein's treatment of his own citizens, but the difference before and after in her country was so striking that she called her land destroyed.  It stuck with me because clearly I saw why some of the world sees us as Imperialists who foist our beliefs on other cultures, there is so much that I don't know about the history of our interactions with Iraq that I will stop there until I know more. 

 

I have empathy with our leaders, and don't get me wrong, I love a good conspiracy theory, but how do you make such complicated decisions when there is so much gray area? We judge them, or I have judged them from the comfort of my desk chair.  I have so much more respect for them as I realize how complex the issues are.  

I also want to be a better world citizen, I loved this woman, friendly, open, and gracious to one who asked too many questions.  I am also seeing how important it is to read, learn and participate where I can. I am so saddened by the fact the beauty of Baghdad is probably one I won't feel safe to experience.  I am hopeful though if more of us speak on behalf of religious tolerance, and embrace the world as part of our family of choice, we can make a difference.

Finally I did express to her, I was sorry that happened to her from our country. We never did find the 'weapons of mass destruction', clearly in this case.  We ended up being the weapon of mass destruction for Iraq. I know that in part is why Obama makes his decisions so carefully when it comes to foreign policy. Good for him, that is what a good leader does, and I am glad I finally understand that.

 

So for now this one woman who lives in the townhouse behind me, and shares our communal pool is my window into the middle east.  I hope I get to visit with her again, perhaps something lighter like how the kids are doing with their swimming lessons.  I am grateful that as I learn more, my eyes are being opened more and I appreciate the view, even if it is difficult at times. I pray it makes me a better world citizen.

Keep informed!

http://news.yahoo.com/exclusive-aids-patients-obamacare-limbo-insurers-reject-checks-152316632--sector.html;_ylt=AwrBJR5rZPZSUBMAzhHQtDMD

 

Please check out this article, I would have posted it but some pages would not take the article.

Keep informed.

Respect Yourself!!!

We teach people how to treat us.  That is the bottom line, and before you say, “yeah but, I am so supportive and kind”. Or, “I tell him I don’t like it”, or “he should know”…….. Again we teach people how to treat us. Now this does not excuse bad behavior, gamey behavior or down right meanness.  You have a responsibility to treat people with honesty, kindness and respect.  That being said, we are the common denominators in our relationships.

I tell my clients frequently, the men who have loved me the best are not the men I have been the kindest to.  They are the men I have been myself with. I had said no when I don’t want to go somewhere or stay the night. I haven’t worried whether they like me or not.  I paid attention to what they said to me, without being overly sensitive. The reason is because; I knew if they were not good to me I wouldn’t stay. I was not afraid to be different than they were, but when they said I don’t want a commitment, I said thanks for telling me and I didn’t stay.

They were the very same men who tried hard to work out the relationship and show up for me no matter what. There have only been a couple of relationships where this is the case. All you need really is one. One good man or woman who will show up for you and be willing to work out what you need.

Now before I break my arm patting myself on the back, I have had several relationships when I was drinking where I was incapable of being with them in any profound way. So I want to acknowledge relationships that are healthy and long term, must start on some sort of healthy basis. I did not even start working on my mental health until my first relationship in sobriety. I was in my 30’s.  Spiritually, I believe what starts in chaos ends in chaos. Even if it does not end, it limps along like a crippled animal.  I frankly don’t want to live like that. My clients don’t want to either.

So the first thing you need to know is to yourself. RuPaul says, “How in the Hell you gonna love someone else if you don’t love yourself.” I may be paraphrasing, but you get the idea.  Then set boundaries, don’t give up your friends, maintain your own dreams, and take it one day at a time. Dating is like trying on shoes, if one doesn’t fit. Find a better pair. Don’t commit too early, see how they treat you. They see how your friends and family are around them.  All of these are important parts of your life. Respecting yourself when you date is one of the best ways to start and develop a great love affair. It is the foundation. So make your foundation a strong one.  If you have issues, call me, and we can talk about it.

Predictions for 2014

 

Predictions for 2014

 

• Pay attention to the financial picture in the first half of 2014, there is change, more fear around the status of the US and the leadership. There may be some major change in the country’s socioeconomical standing in the world; corruption will be a topic that comes forward again. This time though it is tweaked up a notch. 
• Sudden upheaval, are two words that will identify this year.
• There is going to be an insecurity around banking and markets that has people distrusting institutions they will again make the news.
• Those people hurting financially are going to experience more loss, the division between those with money and those who have little will become more extreme.
• People will go to extremes in their support and view of the political machines. Both sides will be hard to convince of a different point of view.  There is going to be an almost intolerance that could show up again around the presidency.
• The President is going to go through chaos in the last quarter that creates fear. I see worry and surprise.
• I see a change in office around John McCain
• I see a door closing around Angelina this year, an ending of sorts.  There is conflict around her in many ways.
• I see Healthcare chugging along, though people still have great anxiety around it, it will hit some sort of major problem at the end of 2014.

 

Sharing an oldie and a goodie

 

THE OLD TELEPHONE ON THE WALL

 

When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood.. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box . I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

 

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

 

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

 

  I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.

"Information, please" I said into the

mouthpiece just above my head.  

  A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

"Information."  

 

  "I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough

now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

" Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

  "No,"

I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

 

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice..

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.. I asked her for

help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math.

  She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

 

  Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called,

  Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

  She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, " Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

  Somehow I felt better.

 

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."  

  "Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?"   I asked.  

 

  All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend very much.

"Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I

somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall.. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me..

 

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

 

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said,

"Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.  

  "Information."  

  I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying,

"Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

 

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

  I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any

idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me.  

  I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

 

  Three months later I was back in Seattle .  A different voice answered,

  "Information."

I asked for Sally.

  "Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.  

  "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, She said.. "Sally had been working part time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."  

  Before I could hang up, she said, "

Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?" "

Yes." I answered.  

  "Well, Sally left a message for you.

She wrote it down in case you called.

Let me read it to you."  

 

  The note said,

"Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.

He'll know what I mean."

  I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.  

  Never underestimate the impression you may make on others..

  Whose life have you touched today?

  Lifting you on eagle's wings.

May you find the joy and peace.  

 

  Life is a journey... NOT a guided tour.  

 

Each of us touch lives in ways we may never know until we reach heaven.

 

> ^..^ <

January 3, 2014

Well again, a no sugar day. Though my energy is starting to run down.  I keep getting the number 555 which is a number of change, usually complicated, loss on the one hand and relief on the other.  It really means my life is going to change. I am trying to rethink these things. You know, look for the positive and not the negative.  I preach to people all the time, that life can change on a dime, especially with effort.  

I went to a really good meeting in a treatment center last night. The meeting allowed me to be honest with where I am for the first time in a long time. I felt connected to the program again.  It has been so long since I have felt fresh and new. So much has happened to me in the last 10 years, and this year it is 10 years. I have gone from social to cloistered and fearful. I want out of this fearful position and into one with comraderie and fun. Part of my change with my health especially is to allow me to feel more confident and comfortable spending time with others. 

My childhood including desperate poverty, so I would dream at night of being locked in a supermart where I could eat whatever I wanted.  So from the start, my world around food was warped.  As an adult I have had various forms of dysfunction around it. Now decades later I am still trying to heal from it.  Well that is it for today!! I get exhausted when I speak to much about what it was like for me. It is my bit for today.